You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
