My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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