areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
