Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
