Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
