there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
