Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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