Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
