So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
