who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
