She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
