if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I understand Curling. That high.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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