singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
