whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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