Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..