Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
