I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
