wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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