Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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