i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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