And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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