Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have post one night stand depression
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