you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
