This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
only if we run a train.
done.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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