he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
