omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My liver is preforming stress tests.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
