Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
