she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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