dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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