Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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