Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
