I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
