we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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