nut hugger
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
