I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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