I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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