First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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