so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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