So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
