I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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