I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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