I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize