dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
