just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
