Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
