Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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