did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
