I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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