Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
