when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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