sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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