They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
