Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
