So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
