Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
