I think I won the penis lottery.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We were destined to go to rehab together
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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