hotel room ftw
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
