Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
