Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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