it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
