girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize