How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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