yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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